Funeral

At 5:30pm I received the message from my friend I expected would come this week, but I was still somewhat surprised upon reading it. His father passed away just hours earlier. To think, last night we were chatting as he choked back tears, knowing this day was around the corner, but not knowing it was in fact less than 24 hours away.

I looked up the address of the hospital where the funeral would be held. In Korea respects are paid immediately to the person who has passed and to the family in mourning. An hour after getting the initial text, my friend called asking me to come; though, I was already heading out the door on my way to the hospital. There is a special wing set up to accommodate the family  to stay overnight, and the family is also allotted with a small private hall where an altar is set up. The alter has a photo of the lost family member where friends/family pause to pay their respects with two bows of respect, lighting some incense, and one bow of respect to the eldest son, my friend. He was pretty preoccupied during much of the "wake."

The traditions are different from those I grew up with, so I imagine I  could not feel as much connection with the ceremony as a Native Korean might.  However, the feelings of loss are the same -- thick in the air and clearly written on everyone's face. They were not lost in translation.

For hours I was the only foreigner there so some people stared, some smiled, some talked with me, and still others ignored me. There was food served in the private hall, so when the time came I ate with my friend. To be honest though, I only ate because he really wanted me to. My stomach was turning in knots (both due to the funeral and to something I ate earlier). I guess eating with friends gave him some sense of normalcy during this upside-down time. As I said, I was the only foreigner there, but I didn't feel awkward like I anticipated I would before arriving at the hospital. I felt like I was just there supporting a friend going through a hard time. So I stayed for over two hours and then felt it was time for me to head out.

I caught a ride home with my friend's friend. Upon entering my apartment I immediately sat down to write this.

That was my evening --thanks for listening [reading].